i'll always protect you,even if i lose everything
by sakura-okaeru-yuki
Summary: what would happen if you were threathened? and the threat involed the life of your loved one? what would you do?
1. prologue

. Prologue:

Blood poured from the open wound as Natsume stood protectively before Mikan, despite his injury. As their enemy closed the remaining distance, Ruka, Misaki, Tsubasa and Hotaru lay motionless on the ground. They were unconscious, unable to be of any stared in fear at her attacker, whose eyes were filled with hatred.

Now only Natsume stood between them. Soon they would all be dead. Natsume gritted his teeth.

"You'll never lay a finger on her. NEVER."As a ring of flames came between them, a grin spread across the enemy's face. Natsume flinched. The injuries were taking their toll on , he had to protect her. No matter what the consequence. He had promised her.

"You fool." their enemy smirked. "You know these flames won't hurt me. But they are a little ticklish. "He chuckled. Only a few steps away now.

~Mikan's POV~

now Natsume's going to kill himself protecting , I'm so weak. If only I could just be of help instead of a burden. Come on! Think Mikan! There's got to be SOME way you could help. He has the Alice of water. If I could just touch him, I could strip him of his I can't get anywhere near him without courting death. But I've still got to try.

~end POV~

At that moment, she dashed out behind Natsume, leaving her vulnerable and her protector in shock. All that was on her mind was only "I'm sorry Natsume."


	2. her reply

Her reply

~flashback~

"Natsume! I've been looking everywhere for you! Aren't you going to join in the festivities?"Bubbly Mikan appeared below their sakura tree with her trademark smile. Snowflakes danced to the ground.

"."

"Natsume you perv-"

"I said sit!"Mikan grimaced as she climbed the tree and sat next to him, thinking of a long list of new names. A silence hung between them.

"Hey Mikan. Don't you think all those horrible days completing the last mission were like a nightmare?"Mikan nodded.

"Why'd you save me back then? When you knew you'd die?"She nuzzled her head against his neck.

"What do you think strawberry print?"

"Natsume no ba-"at that moment, Natsume kissed her. Mikan closed her eyes and their kiss deepened. Finally she pulled away, gasping for air. As she did, Natsume whispered into her ear before leaving her.

"_I love you mikan."_

~end flashback~

Mikan watched the sakura petals drift down. She hadn't answered him yet but she already knew what it would be.

It'd been a few months since Mikan became Natsume's partner. To no one's surprise, Hotaru and Ruka began dating. Mikan was now a special star due to her rare Alices and the fact that she could control them well.

As her room was next to Natsume's they'd walk to class together. As usual, when she left, Natsume was waiting for her. Her reply and greeting today was taken over by a kiss on his cheek.

"Ohiyo Natsume." She smiled widely at him. Natsume then cupped her shin and pecked her lips. Apparently accepting her strolled to class, hands entwined, knowing that from then on, they would face all obstacles together.


	3. new student

: I'm sorry. My chapters have been WAY too short. Ah well. It's a first.

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New student

"All right everyone, settle down!"Called Mr Narumi from the front of the classroom. "Today we have a new student joining our class. His name is Ryo Kisuke." He gestured at a boy with aquamarine eyes and bronze hair.

The boy smiled at the class. Mikan turned to Natsume who was leaning on her shoulder, inhaling her strawberry scent.

"Hey Natsume, why don't we invite Ryo over to sit with us?"

"We don't want him interrupting us, do we?"He said as he kissed her neck. A faint blush appeared on Mikan's face. Those around them that saw Natsume's act stared at his bravery.

As the new boy took his seat in front of Mikan, he stopped and smiled directly at her before taking his seat. Natsume eyed him furiously. He clenched his fist. Mikan took hold of his hand, giving him a you'd-better-control-yourself look.

Ruka and Hotaru watched as the boy took his seat, amazed at the fact that he was brave enough to try and flirt with Mikan. The one that Natsume loved so dearly.

"Whoa. He really doesn't know what would happen to him doesn't he?" Ruka said, amazed.

"Well I think Mikan's choices would affect whatever's going to happen next." Hotaru buried herself in her book. Showing no sign of interest

*

That afternoon, they sat under their sakura tree. Mikan lay flat on her stomach, cracking her head in frustration as she thought of how to answer the difficult science question.

Natsume peeked from behind his mange, watching her as she did her work. Her brown locks which hung down shone in the sun. Natsume kissed the top of her head.

"Need help?"

She shook her head. "I'm going try." The cool breeze ruffled the trees. Ryo appeared before them.

"Care to give me a tour?"

Natsume looked up. He immediately grew jealous. As he clenched his fists, he grabbed hold of Mikan's wrist.

"Don't you dare."

"It's going to be alright Natsume. Nothing's going to happen. I'll be fine."

"Stay."

"Natsume, you're hurting me."

"..." he reluctantly let go of Mikan. She kissed his lips before leaving to guide Ryo.

"He's really courting death."Ruka whispered to Hotaru. They were hiding behind the bushes, watching the events occur.

"..."Hotaru was still absorbed by her book and paid no attention.

*

As they walked around the school, Ryo kept his eyes on Mikan the whole time. Mikan felt awkard under his gaze. To her, it just seemed so – evil.

They made a turn and Ryo suddenly pinned Mikan by the wrist against the wall. Mikan tried to break free but to no avail. He was too strong for her. She then started trashing with all her might.

"Be my girlfriend Mikan."

"Never. Now let me go!"

"You have two options. One, be my girl or two I'll slowly make your life hell."

"I'd rather the second."Mikan said sternly. Her gaze turned murderous.

"You'll see."He kissed her neck, "Did anyone ever tell you how adorable you are when you're angry?"He chuckled, "I'll make sure you're mine. Even if I have to kill Natsume."

Mikan's eyes widened in shock. Ryo kissed her forehead before walking away like as if nothing had happened. Tears rolled down Mikan's cheeks. She wanted to be with Natsume but she did not want to see him killed.

Curling up against her legs, she started crying. She did not otice even when Hotaru appeared next to her.

".BAKA"

Mikan rubbed her head as she looked up. She smiled at Hotaru, knowing what she was trying to say.

: ah well. I'm so very sorry.


	4. what i decided

: Okay. From this point on, it's basically Mikan's pov til the next chapter. Or maybe the one after...

: Disclaimer ( forgetting to out this part in.): I DO NOT own gakuen Alice

What I decided

As I made my way to Natsume's room, I pondered on what I was going to do. First things first, I'm definitely NOT going to let that freak kill Natsume. Secondly, the only way I'm going to prevent that outcome is to be the freak's girlfriend. Knowing me, I'll never leave Natsume. Even if circumstances tear us apart I'll still try my hardest to just get back to his side.

So what was I to do? I stopped outside his room. Hesitating on going in. I couldn't let Ryo kill Natsume could I? I clutched the spot where my heart would be. It hurt so badly. I had to leave him. As long as he's alive and safe, I'd feel at peace. Though it would mean no more of his comforting hugs and gentle kisses.

At that moment the door opened. As I looked up, a pair of crimson eyes locked into mine. And all of a sudden, his arms were around me, holding me close. My eyes suddenly became puffy, and tears were threatening to flow down.

We walked silently into the room. Not a word uttered. I let my bangs cover my eyes as I turned to face him. Struggling to keep my poker face expression, I broke the silence.

"Natsume. I love you." And I kissed him long and hard. These lips, these comforting arms, to keep this person safe, I'm giving all of it up. But some day, I'll come back.

Natsume was silent the whole time. I figured he was trying to figure out what was troubling me so, why the kiss felt like as if I was trying to tell him something more than the fact that I loved him. But he never pushed me away. Nor did he hesitate to kiss me back. The kiss frightened me. I knew it was having the same effect on him too. His lips were unsure, unlike how he would kiss me.

I finally pulled away. With my bangs covering my eyes, all emotion hidden, I began to hurt him.

"Natsume, I'm sorry. I love you."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I turned to go out. I felt my heart break into millions of pieces. Then, he grabbed my wrist.

"Why?"

I couldn't stand the pain anymore. Why. Why couldn't he just let me run and cry? I turned to face him as the tears started falling.

"Just promise you'll always be there for me."

He had a confused look in his eyes though his face still retained its stoic expression.

"Why?"

"Natsume anata wa baka na."I placed my hand on his cheek." I'll always love you. Remember that. Forever. Just promise you'll always love me and be there for me too."

I broke away from his grip. I ran out, into my room and locked the door. I couldn't hold it in anymore. The pain I felt was unbearable. It felt as if my heart was ripped out. The tears trickled to the ground.

As I slid to the ground, my whole body went numb. I couldn't feel anything below the neck. I cried the whole night.

*

The next day, I skipped lessons. After what happened last night, I just felt like I was not fit to attend lessons in this lifeless state. Tsubasa-sempai, Misaki-sempai and Narumi-sensei would make a big fuss and get all worried.

I didn't hear Natsume's door open either. Thus I guessed he was suffering from shock, still trying to comprehend what I had said. Natsume. My chest hurt again. It was unbearable.

Just then, I heard a knock and got out of bed to open the door. My knees still felt wobbly. The impact of having to break up with him was still fresh.

As the door was pulled open, a familiar gaze was felt. That same gentle gaze. All of a sudden, I was being pulled into a hug.

"I promise you." I nuzzled my face against his solid figure. That moment seemed to last an eternity. Inhaling his oh so familiar scent and feeling his comforting warmth made all the pain fade away. Heck I know that it was going to hurt even more later but for now, to just be able to hold him close, I felt whole.

:YAYYERS! I've finally finished this chapter! But it really hurt writing this, putting myself in Mikan's shoes and all. I'm gonna need more reviews if I were to continue. I've been having a case of writer's block recently._." and I need to know how you guys would like this to continue...


	5. to be loved

...I really need to start trying to write longer chapters...AH WELL. Mikan's pov in this chap. Bon appetite!

**To Be Loved**

That day, after Natsume left, Ryo came in for his answer. As I told him what I've done, a smirk spread on his face.

"Good girl. I knew you wouldn't risk you're friends' lives. But I wanted you to do it willingly. Ah well, I guess not everything will work out." he chuckled.

Then as he tried to kiss my lips as a farewell, I turned my head, avoiding his lips. He ended up kissing my cheek instead but did not seem angry that I turned away.

As the door slammed shut, the tears started rolling down again. I ran into the shower, hoping to wash away the kiss that Ryo had just planted on me. I felt as if I was betraying Natsume. I turned the tap and as the water began flowing down, I dropped to my knees. Huddling myself into a ball, I let the tears flow freely.

I scrubbed my cheek vigorously til it was bright red. It hurt, but I was disgusted by it. Somehow, it just made me feel so-unclean. When I was satisfied, I turned the water off. Through my damp clothes, my underwear could be seen. I giggled at what Natsume would have said if he'd seen me now.

Natsume. The pain struck my chest again. It was as bad as the night before. I had inflicted a harsh amount of pain unto him, and he in turn still had my heart and my soul entangled with his. His pain was mine and mine, his.

My phone vibrated on the table. As I pulled on a fresh set of clothes, I flipped the mobile open. Persona. He must have another mission again. Ten at the normal place eh? Ah well.

I lay in bed the rest of the day, finishing my homework. Hotaru dropped by that afternoon to pass me my homework and see how I was doing. As cold of an ice queen she was, deep down, she actually cares a lot about me. Just as I do about her.

Nightfall soon arrived. I dragged myself down the stairs. I wore a pair of skinny jeans and double layered shirt which had a halter inside and a shirt outside. I knew I would not be able to take my usual seat for dinner; Ryo would prevent me from doing so.

I walked past the sea of eye that followed my every move. Only three of them caught my attention: Natsume, Hotaru and Ruka. I wanted so badly to sit with them. A hand suddenly grabbed my wrist and hauled me to the seat next to Ryo. I knew it was him. Nobody I knew had such an icy cold grip on my skin.

I felt the eyes of everyone in the hall watch me. All I wished for then was for time to pass quickly. I would have to go for my mission and be far from this maniac.

Ryo nibbled my ear and kissed my neck and cheek repeatedly over dinner until I left. Fortunately it was going to rain that night and all these disgusting kisses would be washed off. After all I have always thought as the rain as tears from heaven and I had always enjoyed playing in it. The emotions that I would get from the rain were complicated but somehow the rain would make me feel both joy and sorrow.

Natsume knew of my love of the rain. He would always be the one to dance with me in it. We would waltz and twirl to our fancy. I missed that. It had not been raining for a long while and we had not done it in awhile.

I hurried to the sakura tree. It was fifteen minutes to ten. Natsume should be here. The leaves rustled in the night's cool breeze. It was so comforting. A sakura blossom fell unto my hair. As I looked up, I saw the two eyes that caused me to hyperventilate. Those raven coloured locks where I longed to brush though again.

"Natsume." It was all I managed to say. I was at a loss for words. Nothing could describe how terrible I felt inside as I faced him.

"Tch. Polka. So, you dumped me just so you could be Ryo's girlfriend eh?"

"No! It's not like that!" the tears began welling up in my eyes again.

"Then why? How is it that you had to leave me?" his cold, emotionless glare scared me even more.

"If I didn't do it, you would be killed. Along with everyone else." I mumbled. He came down from the tree and held me in his warm embrace.

"I didn't want to lose everyone. Especially you Natsume." I said between sobs. He chuckled.

"Daijobu. I understand now. But why didn't you say anything to me? I am perfectly capable of looking after myself you know." I looked into those eyes that were filled with warmth and understanding. This was where I belonged. With him.

Persona arrived, ruining our moment. Natsume was furious at him for doing so.

"According to our sources, there is a top anti-alice agent in our school. They are planning to capture the two of you, naturally, but they will go to extreme measures and harm the students if they do not get what they want. Your mission is to prevent the agent from succeeding and to prevent any casualties." With that he left, leaving the two of us alone again. The rain started pouring down. I looked up at the sky.

"May I have this dance?" I looked at Natsume's outstretched hand and gladly put mine in his. Throughout that night, we danced and twirled in the rain. Just like how we used to in the past.

*

I dried off at Natsume's room. That night, I stayed with him. Cuddling in his warm embrace and savouring everyone of his kisses. I had to admit, it's hard to avoid him and pretend to hate him.

This is my safe heaven. Where I would forget of all my troubles and know there's someone I could share it with. Someone that would bear them with me.

"So what are we going to do now?"

"We are going to sleep dummy. Don't you know how to sleep?" he said as he closed his eyes.

"I meant what we are going to do with Ryo. I have a feeling he's our suspect." I snuggled closer to his body. His warmth comforted me.

"Continue your act of being his girlfriend and every night I'll sneak into your room to claim you back again. Now, sleep." And I let myself drift into my sleep, not fearing nightmares or what might be ahead, knowing Natsume will always be there with me

: that's all folks! I just love these NatsumexMikan moments. Don't you? The next chapter will probably be released two weeks later. I'll be going on a holiday soon. REVIEW!


	6. obsessed

: back~ Wheee! I can finally finish this in peace!? Got the problem solved at last. Sorry its past deadline. Natsume's pov for this chapter!

: Disclaimer-same as always…

* * *

Obsessed

I woke up with her in my arms, snuggling oh so close to my chest. Her chest rose and fell with every breath. She looked so peaceful sleeping. Just like an angel. I pondered on what she might have been dreaming on. Who would have thought she would be the dense, forever cheerful, loud idiot that I would fall for?

It was six in the morning, and a month after Ryo started torturing her. I thought of waking her. But then again, I should just let her sleep. That was her refuge. Nothing could trouble her in her dreams; they could be whatever she wanted. I rose from the bed but her grip held me down. She stirred and her eyes opened.

"Ohiyo, Natsume-kun." She said as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"Good morning sleepyhead." I kissed her forehead, "you could sleep some more you know."

She shook her head. I knew very well that she had to be in her room long before _he_ went to walk her to class. Oh how I wish I could burn him to ashes. I would love it if he was the agent we were after. This way, I get to kick his butt for two reasons.

Mikan soon left the room. It did not annoy me that she left, she would be mine again tonight. The only thing that would irritate me the rest of the day would be that guy touching and kissing her.

Sheesh. Him touching her would be the last thing I'd need today. That bastard. I stepped into the shower and turned the tap on. Just to cool my anger, I put the water on extra cold. It did not bother me in any way. It still felt warm to me. A train of thoughts ran through my head. Though the image of one person dominated my mind, Mikan's smiling face.

* * *

"You idiot. I told you not to hurt Natsume-sama didn't I?"

"Yeah! How could you?!"

"Who would've thought you, Mikan Sakura is actually someone who just toys with people's feelings?"

The screams of those annoying girls pierced the silent class. Their anger filled the room with negative energy. It was uncomfortable sitting in class. I've already had enough of that Ryo guy's crap to burn him into ashes at least a million times. Though I would really need a way to vent it all out soon.

Mikan looked so tortured in his embrace. I swore I would always protect her from harm. But now, while I'm in this position, I feel so helpless. It was awkward. I've always been the knight in shining armor, never the helpless bystander.

Homosexual Narumi soon entered the class, only to announce that an important meeting was being held for teachers and lessons were cancelled. Ruka and Hotaru decided to go on a date in central town. Ryo dragged Mikan out of the room, making my temper flare up again.

In the end I decided on just to read my manga under our sakura tree. I placed the manga down. I wasn't in any mood for that now. My thoughts kept flashing over to Mikan. Closing my eyes, my thoughts immediately turned to her. Her image filled my head; I could almost smell her sweet strawberry scent.

Alright. I admit. I am seriously obsessed with her.

But who wouldn't? With her alluring lips, _sexy _figure and cheerful personality, even the hardest of hearts would melt. Believe me, I was one of those people.

I hardened my heart to everyone. Including Ruka. However much he cared and all, I never really opened my heart to him. For the sake of everyone's safety, I distanced myself from them.

Until she came and rescued me with Sumire from the AAO, I was living in darkness. Though, as the days slowly passed, I realized that I fell for her hard. The first kiss we shared, I couldn't help it. She was just so tempting, like a plate of roast beef placed before a hungry beggar.

I opened my eyes. I never realized that I had fallen asleep. It seemed like a short time. I headed into the dining hall and took my usual seat next to Ruka.

"Hey Natsume. Have you seen Sakura today?"

"…"

"Spill it you mute. I know you know where she went."Hotaru narrowed her eyes. Her baka gun in her hands, ready to hit the next idiot.

"All I know is polka left class with that idiot Ryo."

At the mention of the name "Ryo", a nasty silence would hang over us. Like a knife that was ready to chop of your head at any moment. I didn't like it. Not one bit.

We ate in silence that night. It was the way we spent dinner the past month. Normally, Mikan would be the one who livens up the place. I strode back to my room immediately after dessert and waited for her. Where could she have gone to the whole day without even a message to me?

I waited for the click of her door the entire night. She never came back from where ever that jerk brought her to.

* * *

Well that's all folks! Glad I got this chapter done. I'm already planning a sequel to this! A very big thank you to those that reviewed the past chapters! Oh and happy new year guys! I'll probably try to finish the story by end of next year but no guarantees. School's starting so this means its probably gonna take a long time for the next !

p.s. Ryo's alice will be revealed in the coming chapters!

-sneaks-

~Mikan's pov~

I couldn't control myself. Natsume looked so torn. I tore him into bits without meaning to. What's happening? Why am I saying all these mean stuff?! I try to tell him its not true. But try as I might the words aren't said, only the ones that I don't want to hear are.


	7. torn

: thanks for the awesome reviews guys! I'm enjoying writing this more and more XD this is from the part where Ryo dragged her 's POV!

: Disclaimer: only unless you're an idiot would you not know that I don't own Gakuen Alice. I only own Ryo Kisuke.

* * *

**Torn**

Ryo dragged me out of class. His hands were like shackles, chaining me down. Even if I used all my strength, I'd never be able to escape my fate. I looked over at Natsume, pleading him to come to my rescue. Though we both knew he'd only end up killed since we don't know what Ryo's alice was.

He dragged me to an unused classroom and locking the door behind us, sealed my only means of escape. Oh well, there was always the windows. Hopefully someone would see me from the outside being tortured. Desperately looking around, I realized that there weren't any windows. Dang. Now what am I supposed to do?

I couldn't see his expression; those bangs of his covered his face. He strode towards me, slowly gaining speed as I backed away. Pinning me against the wall, he smirked as he watched me struggle. What a sadist.

"So you thought you could fool me huh?" he whispered into my ear "well, you thought wrong."

I struggled to break away from his grip, pretending that I did not hear a single word. He chuckled.

"Well, I guess I've got no choice." And then it hit me, like a spasm of numbness. He was using his alice. Using all my effort, I struggled to use my nullification.

"Its no use Mikan, you can't resist." He smirked. "To have you know, I have the alice of manipulation and the copy alice. I'm also a very proud and valuable anti-alice agent. Right now, as you drain your strength trying to stop me, I'm copying your nullification and using it against you while my alice of manipulation takes control. You see, I can control you. Just like a puppet master. "he grinned evilly.

As the last of my strength was being depleted and my vision blurred, all I could think of was: _help me Natsume._

* * *

I awoke in Ryo's bedroom, much to my dismay. I tried sitting up, but I couldn't. All I could feel now was invisible strings were tied onto my body at various places, just like a puppet. Then a harsh tug pulled me up as I started walking to my room.

I felt as if I was one of Hotaru's robots. I tried to smile. Nothing happened. I had lost total control over my body.

As I walked to my room I bumped into Natsume. His face was grim and filled with worry. Apparently he'd skipped class.

"Tch. Polka. Where the hell were you yesterday?" he kept his poker face on now. I wanted to tell him what had happened, that I'd found the agent. Most of all, I wanted to kiss his worries away.

I willed myself to reach out and touch his face, to tiptoe and kiss him on his lips. But to no avail. Then I heard my own voice.

"That's for me to know, you stalker. Do I have to report _everything_ to you?! We broke up already now get lost!"

I can't believe I just said that. Natsume was stunned too.

I couldn't control myself. Natsume looked so torn. I tore him into bits without meaning to. What's happening? Why am I saying all these mean stuff?! I try to tell him it's not true, that I love him. But try as I might the words aren't said, only the ones that I don't want to hear are.

"Well? Aren't you going to get out of my sight?" I heard my voice say. I felt Natsume's pain. It hurt so badly. Tears streamed down my face as I watched him make his way down to the dining hall for lunch. What have I done?

All of a sudden, I felt a pair of arms snake their way around my waist. My body turned on its own and smiled. This can't be happening. Then I kissed Ryo on his lips as he returned it. My hands had gone around his neck already.

This can't be happening. It's all just a terrible nightmare. I try to convince myself. Then, the feeling of the puppet strings stopped.

"So how'd it feel like being my puppet for that period?" he asked an evil grin on his face.

Regaining my senses, I raised my hand and slapped him hard on the cheek. The tears started falling.

"horrible." I said between sobs." I'd rather you kill me than repeat that." And I turned to leave in a huff.

But he stopped me. He grabbed my wrist as I was about to leave. I struggled to pull away as he rubbed his cheek, cursing a long string of words under his breath.

"Why you!" he pushed me to the floor and stepped on my stomach. This torture was unbearable.

"You'd better be a good little girl and follow me to the AAO's headquarters when the time comes." He kicked my face up to face him. "Or else."

He left me lying there. The puppet feeling gone. I ran to Natsume's room. My eyes met his warm gaze as I entered.

"Natsume." I gasped. Before I knew it, I blacked out.

* * *

:don't blame me if you think its crappy. I thought it wasn't good enough. next chapter is going to take a while. A long while. School's starting, less time on the com.

Thanks once again for reviews! As Mikan puts it, keep smiling!


	8. to protect

I'm sorry it took me so long to update! enjoy! natsume's pov

* * *

To protect

Dashing out of my position on the bed, I caught her. Just before she hit the ground. She looked so fragile in my arms, like a glass ornament that would break at the slightest pressure. Her face was drained of all colour, the blush of her cheeks, the colour on her lips, they were all gone. Gently, I lifted her (bridal-styled) and carried her to my bed. Tucking her beneath the covers. Her body felt unusually warm on my skin.

I brushed some of her brown locks from her face, running my hand down and placing it on her soft, abnormally warm cheek. The pain and longing all numbed. With her about, everything just felt so right. Mikan, I just do not know what I would do if I lost you.

Her eyes slowly opened. They were filled with so much pain and sorrow. Her eyes, so filled with joy and the love of everything and that gentle gaze of her were all missing. She reached out her hand and placed it over mine. Closing her eyes, she sighed. I could swear I heard my name when she sighed. It was so soft, so weak. Then, she smiled.

Her face burned hot under my hand. Tch. Typical of her to not take care of herself at a time like this. How could she not understand how it hurts me to see her in this state? To see her so sick and look as if she was going to die any minute? Oh right. I had to fall for a dense idiot.

"Hey polka you okay?"

She looked me in the eyes, her gaze both thrilled and scared me. I had to stifle the urge to kiss her, to hug her, to hold her tight in my arms and breathe in her sweet scent. Though it wasn't the gaze of the Mikan Sakura I knew.

"Natsume," her voice sounded so weak yet so relieved. To my ears it sounded like a melody. "I'm okay. Natsume's here. Everything's okay now."

Now this _really _freaked me out. Was she going mad? She was talking to herself; reassuring herself that I was here and she was safe, that everything was fine. _The fever must be frying her brains._ That or Ryo did something unforgivable to her.

All of a sudden, she started crying. Her wails, sobs and cries sounded so filled with pain and fear. Most of it was with fear. Her chanting got louder between each and every sob.

_"I'm okay.*sobs*Natsume's here.*sobs* everything's okay now."_

The pain struck me badly. It hurt me so much to see her like this. To see her so tortured, to see her try so hard to convince herself that I was here. That she was safe.

I wrapped my arms around her, placing my cheek on her head and pulling her into my embrace. I stroked her head down to her back. Her arms slithered their way slowly up my neck. But her chanting did not stop.

"Mikan, its okay now. I'm here. It's okay. I won't let anyone harm you." I said in my most assuring voice, repeating those words over and over until she calmed down. Her sobs and chants soon died down. She had knocked out from exhaustion.

I tugged her hands down from around my neck and lay her back down on the bed. I went to grab an ice pack, a glass of water and some medication. After sending a quick sms to Ruka notifying him and Hotaru of Mikan's position, I went back to her side and started dabbing the ice pack around her face and then placing it on her forehead. Taking the medicine I dissolved it in the water and used a syringe to feed it to her. As I held her up and fed her the medicine, the phone vibrated on the table. The reply from them just came in.

Ignoring that completely, I continued what I was doing. Soon Mikan stirred. I was panicking, thinking that she was going to repeat the earlier ordeal. The result shocked me.

Her bruised arms covered her face, her hands went on her head. She had curled into a ball; just like how a child would to protect himself from his abusive father. The tears trickled down her face. I never have seen people crying in their sleep before. This really drove me off the cliff. Mikan couldn't even return to her safe haven now. Her life was living hell.

I wiped the tears away and stoked her head.

"Mikan, I promise you. I'll protect you even if I die in the process. As long as you're safe as long as you're sane, happy and my Mikan, I'll protect you. Ryo's not ever going to lay his filthy hands on you ever again. I promise you."

I kissed her head. The kiss was sweet. Although disappointed it was not on her lips with her response, all that mattered now was that she was alive and safe and her with me. Crawling into bed next to her, I joined her under the blankets and wrapped my arms around her waist. I pulled her closer inhaling her sweet scent. I missed all of this. So much.

The night soon fell and fatigue overwhelmed me. Falling asleep all I could think of was "its okay Mikan"

* * *

I woke up to find myself face to face with Mikan. Her warm gaze and smile returned. She stroked my hair and my face. A way I think she is doing to ensure that I was really there with her. Her eyes widened and she smiled hugely. I kissed her on the lips. Much to my favour she responded with the same amount of enthusiasm. The kiss was long and so filled with longing and the fact we missed each other. It also turned me on. That last part was bad. It only made me want more.

"Rest. I'll go get you some food and your medicine." I looked into those hazel orbs that were always filled with comfort and joy.

She nodded. I rose from the bed and got changed. As I opened the door, Ruka and that inventor stood at the door with out breakfast. Ruka passed me mine and the freak went to Mikan. Tch. So much to courtesy.

"Sorry. I couldn't stop her." Ruka apologised. He never took his eyes off Mikan.

"..."

I went to grab the medicine as they went to see Mikan. Passing her the medicine and a glass of water, she gratefully swallowed them. Oh yea I have been giving her the medicine I take when I overuse my alice. It worked fairly well. Persona did mention that using an alice for a prolonged time would shorten the lifespan of us dangerous abilities and cause us to suffer exhaustion.

* * *

I waited. They had just left. Mikan beckoned me to her. I willingly went to her side. She then smiled a very weak smile at me.

"You promise that forever?" she said. It was barely audible and directed to me.

"Yea." I replied brushing away some strands of hair from her face."Rest. Ryo will never lay hands on you again. I'm not letting him."

Satisfied, she lay down."Natsume, could you kiss me?" I kissed her. This time _she_ made the kiss so hot it shook my insides. She then tried unbuttoning my shirt. I pulled my lips away. Gasping for air._ What the hell?_

"No. Not now. Not when you're injured like this. After this all. I promise." I tucked her in as she slept unwillingly.' _After this all._' What am I thinking?!

* * *

finished! school's buzy. especially with my cca going for a competition in april and all. ah wells tell me what u think! and I freaked myself out writing this chapter. .

p.s. i dont think natsume will do "it" with her.


	9. a dream and a locket

_this kinda took awhile. I fell sick recently and landed in there WAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do, I thought of ideas for to powerkitty and stracy for all the reviews!

* * *

_

Kowaii.

Blood-stained snow covered the ground. The stench of fresh blood filled the air. Staring silently at the injured bodies of her friends, who gave everything they had for her. Their bodies were like corpses. Pale, cold, unmoving.

Before her stood her beloved, blood pouring out of a new wound. The cold bit at their skin. The snow would never be white again.

_Kowaii._

The blood-red eyes of their enemies shone like blood rubies in the paleness of the winter's night. They were winning. It was clear. They had no chance. She gripped her locket, trembling in fear and for her beloved. _Please be safe, Natsume._

The strength she felt from that locket pushed her on. She dashed out from behind him, leaving Natsume in a state of pure shock, astonishment, bewilderedness. Running through the snow, pain stuck her, more than ever.

_I'm sorry._

"I'll leave with you." A smile danced across his face. Anger washed through Natsume, fresh, strong, the desire to protect what he loved burned in his blood.

"Don't."

Natsume watched, bewildered. Shocked. Why did she just leave? He passed out. Leaving the blood stained ground behind them, she shuddered. The snow would never be the same.

* * *

I jumped out of my sleep. The dream always scared the hell out of me. Natsume lay next to me on the bed, silent, asleep. I brushed my fingers through his silky raven locks. Placing my palm on his cheek, I knew he was awake. He just did not show it. Clearly he was enjoying this.

"Ohiyo Natsume."

"hn. When will you ever learn to sleep polka?"

"hm...I guess I'll never learn to." I smiled. Sometimes, on days like this, nightmares seem to go away. Faded memories of the past; the fun times, the sad, all seem like a dream.

Plus, its on days like this where I wake up finding Natsume next to me in just his boxers. It just seems like he's my husband sometimes. Sighs, worst of all it's a habit I can never get him to change.

"Nightmare again?" he asked sweetly, comfortingly.

I nod. The nightmares could be worse. The first time I had them, Natsume's heart was ripped out of his chest. A sight I can never bear look at again. Now, that part is locked up, deep inside. I pray this nightmare will never come true.

Natsume turned away and went back to sleep. Huh. I never realized it was only two in the morning. I lay back down. Thinking of the plan that Hotaru and the rest thought of.

It was fairly good. I would get Ryo to go into the northern forest where Hotaru, Ruka, Tsubasa and Misaki would be waiting. Natsume would follow me. Hidden in the shadows of the trees. Just in case something happens. Than when as planned, he'd be ambushed.

Natsume got up and went to his drawer. He kind of scared me. Getting up like that. As he walked back to the bed, I pushed myself up on my elbow, letting my head rest on my hand.

"here." He held out his hand. In his palm lay a gold locket, with a matching gold chain to complete.

The locket was beautiful. It was in the shape of a heart. The design on it intrigued me. A star, with wings was so skilfully crafted unto the cover. I took it from his hand, mesmerized by its beauty.

"I had it specially made. Open it." He got back into the bed, sitting next to me.

I carefully opened it. Inside the locket held our picture and his alice stone. (a/n: picture on left, alice stone on right.) That picture was the one we took during the new year. He'd kissed me then.

Involuntarily, tears streamed out. Traitors. Natsume watched me with curiosity before he put it on for me. He wiped away my tears.

"Arigato, Natsume."

"Now I'll always be with you. Lie down and get some sleep polka. You'll need it as much as I do for tomorrow."

I lay back down, clutching the locket. Now Natsume will always be close to me. No matter where I am. His arms were around me again. Slowly, I let myself drift into my dreams, be it nightmare or a dream, Natsume would always be with me.

* * *

The enD! look out for to touch a heart. that'll be my second. but it'll probably be on hold til i finish this. the first chap for that will be out next week i suppose. depending on how fast I can type and whether i an use the com.

syaonara!

p.s. sorry short chapter


	10. losing her

undescribable. I'm an anti-violence writer

* * *

The day passed quickly. Soon it would be time for the plan to take place. Everyone ate with a feeling of dread, praying no one gets severely hurt in the process of the plan.

"Mikan, you have to at least eat something." Imai was trying to persuade Mikan to eat. Tch. Knowing her, she probably would be so worried that it fails that she won't even take a bite.

"Hey ugly, you don't want to make yourself any uglier do you?"

She looked at me and then at her food before lifting her spoon and staring to eat. I watched her as she ate. No way am I going to lose her to that jerk.

Yes we disagree a lot, and we fight and all but we still love each other all the same. Then, the clock started ticking.

* * *

The crowns of the trees covered the moon and the stars. Darkness loomed over us. The place had a melancholy, somber mood. Snowflakes drifted slowly, softly, gently to the ground. Polka stood there, unmoving, stunned. I knew she was afraid of the darkness the surrounded us. She stood there, clutching her locket, afraid of what might happen.

I'll be damned if I didn't even know that. I hopped down from the tree landing gently before her. Her eyes, so filled with horror widened upon seeing me.

"Natsume."

She ran forward and hugged me, wetting my shirt with her tears. Tch. I never knew she was such a cry baby. I stroked her hair.

"Baka. You'll always have me with you. I am close by you know. Plus you can always conjure up a fire to chase away the darkness."

She nodded. I left for the cover of the trees again. A fire, glowing warm and bright from her hand lit up the forest a little, barely enough for me to be seen, which was good.

"Mikan. I'm glad you came without a fight."

I glared at the barely visible figure that stood in the darkness of the trees. Ryo.

"I…I…I'm not leaving Ryo."A malicious grin, an evil chuckle.

"Who gave you a choice?"

This was my cue. I leaped down from the trees, landing with a thump on the ground.

"I did."I stood slowly. "And so did them."

Ruka, Hotaru, Shadow and Misaki emerged from the bushes.

"hn. Oh Hyuuga. You amuse me so. I wonder why the organization and the academy consider you a valuable agent when you don't even know your limits."

All of a sudden, Misaki was flung against a tree, so hard to the point where the tree snapped. Shadow was lounging in to fight with Ruka and Hotaru was at polka's side, protecting her. He was using his alices. I could tell.

"Andou! Snap out of it!"I shouted as he lounged at me.

"Hey over here Tsubasa!" Ruka hollered from the far side of the forest. "I'll take him Natsume. You go for Kisuke."

I looked at my best friend. I'd so owe him for this. Andou charged towards Ruka. Before I was even within a meter of Ryo, two bodies flew past me. I stopped dead in my tracks. I know who they were. Hotaru and Ruka were flung aside. Then, Andou was strangling himself.

I turned towards Ryo. He was strangling himself, an evil grin painted on his face. He mocked the way he was killing Andou, the way he was killing my friends.

I dashed towards Ryo, knowing that the only way to prevent them from getting injured was to knock him out. Damn. That was going to be hard, considering he can just make me knock myself out.

Shadow's body landed on the ground, his eyes white, and his face pale. Mikan stared crying for her friends. Her world was collapsing in on her. That was for sure. She whimpered words like "tsubasa" "misaki" "hotaru" "ruka" "no" and "kami"

"Natsume! Watch out!" she screamed out of the blue.

Before I knew it, I was severely hurt. Blood poured out of the new gash just below my waist. Damn. That was gonna leave a scar. I crouched protectively before polka. No way am I going to let her get hurt. Everyone lay motionless around us.

The sight made something snap within me. I was supposed to protect them, no matter what the cause. However much I hated myself now, it had to wait. Now, I have to protect Mikan.

Then, it was all too sudden. Mikan dashed out from behind me. I was staggered, bewildered. Why'd she do that for?!

As she approached him with astounding speed, a flame appeared from her hand. She hurled it at him. All I could do was watch now. A crystal dagger made of ice shot out from nowhere, hitting her on her head. And then, Polka fell to the ground. But before she'd hit it, she landed in the hands of Kisuke.

_Shit._

"Now, you shall forget everything." A whisper in the wind. Another crystal dagger. A sharp pain in my head. Sticky red liquid blinded my view.

And then, everything went black.

* * *

so how'd u like it? sry its abstract and short


	11. the start of the beginning?

WHEEE!~

i enjoyed doing this somehow...

* * *

A month has passed since Mikan got captured by the AAO. Natsume had been comatose until two weeks ago. He woke up, asking for Mikan and then, he got into big trouble with the principal. He got hurt real bad.

On Tuesday, he disappeared without a trace. Only dangerous ability students knew what he'd been sent to do: Rescue Mikan, at _all costs_.

_

* * *

_

A year later…

I hurried down the hallway. It was Christmas and I was eager to give my present to him. I burst into the room, panting just like a dog. He looked up at me and I felt my breath catch and the blood rushing to my face.

This is me, Mikan Sakura. AAO agent for a year now. I don't have any memories of anything that occurred before that time I awoke in the hospital here, with Ryo at my side. He's the only friend I have here and I had a huge crush on him.

Nightmares of a dark forest and blood-stained snow would appear at random for most nights. Making me jerk up in shock, sweating and panting as I tried to calm down. Sometimes, I'd dream of this boy, with raven locks and deep crimson eyes. He was always smiling and looking at me with this gentle gaze, like as if _he loved me_.

"Merry Christmas Ryo!"

I said as I bowed my head down and held out the gift to him, praying that he'd accept it. Instead, I found myself being pulled down unto his bed.

"I'll take that. Merry Christmas to you too." He took the gift and placed it at the side table. We snuggled into a more comfortable position before he handed me my gift.

A delicate silver chain with a diamond studded heart-shaped pendant on the end. Wow. This must have cost a bomb.

"Don't you like it?"

I nodded, stunned. He reached out for it and then wanted to take out my locket. My hand instinctively wrapped around it.

"I'm not going to take the locket out." I said sternly. "It's all I have left of my past."

"Fine." I knew he wasn't all too satisfied. Moreover, I couldn't help myself from stretching over to kiss him on the cheek before leaving.

* * *

The next day, as I walked to the usual spot under a sakura tree to have my lunch, someone else occupied the spot already. This surprised me. No one ever sat under the sakura tree. Even Ryo wouldn't, no matter how hard I've tried to persuade him.

The boy was just like the one from my dreams. He had locks of hair as black as night, eyes as red as fire and a drop dead hot body. He looked up.

"Polka." He said as his eyes widened to stare at me. Polka? Why does that seem so familiar?

My head cocked to the side. Polka? There was nothing polka dotted here. 'Ding' it clicked all of a sudden. My underwear today was polka. Then again, I didn't even show it to him.

"Hentai!" I mumbled. A frown was painted on my face. I stomped off in a fit of anger and tripped over my own two feet. My lunch was sent flying across the grass. Gah! There goes my lunch!

"Itai!" I groaned. It wasn't at all pleasant. Firstly, I had dirtied my clothes and the stains made from the ground would be ultra hard to rid. Secondly, I scraped my knee against a stone whilst falling. Crap. The sight of blood scared me.

"I see you're still as clumsy as usual, Mikan." I looked up. The boy stood before me with outstretched arms, helping me stand up. I stared into those crimson eyes. I got lost in them. They were, how should I put it? Hypnotizing? Mesmerizing? Captivating?

Wait! Didn't he just call me Mikan? How'd he know my name? I don't even know him?! I never even introduced myself to him.

Before I knew it, I was being kissed.

The kiss was somehow familiar. It was slow, gentle and sweet. _Crap_. Why am I enjoying this?!

I pulled away and out of natural response, I slapped him on the cheek, hard. Pain shot up my palm. Damn. That hurt. And I broke into a run. His confused stare was felt from behind.

Who the hell is he?

* * *

I didn't tell Ryo about the encounter. I practically avoided him. I was ashamed of myself.

The next day, I saw _him_ again under the sakura tree. This time round, his nose was buried in a book. A giggle escaped from my lips. He looked up, cautious to who was around. Then, his eyes caught mine. I sat against the tree, on the opposite side of him and stared into the sky.

"Everyone's worried about you, you know. Hotaru, Ruka, Andou and practically the whole school."

What is he talking about? I don't know him. Who's Hotaru? And who's Ruka and Andou?

"What are you talking about? Who's Hotaru? And who's Ruka and Andou?"

"Guess the records were right. You really don't remember huh? Not even me by any chance?"

"I don't know you." I said slowly, confused. What's going on?

Before long, he was beside me. His head was cocked to the side. His eyes shone with an aura of sorrow. I've never seen his face this close before. His features were so, so, sclupturistic? He looked like some art piece brought to life.

"You do Mikan. You do. Try to remember at least. I know that if I were to try telling you everything you wouldn't believe me."

My head hurt as I tried to remember. It was like my brain was being chewed on by a monster. It's jaws and sharp teeth sinking into my head and then brutally ripping it all out. I clutched my head and crouched into a ball.

"I'm Natsume Hyuuga. Your partner in crime and in our class in the alice academy. Do you believe me?"

I looked up. My eyes were wet. It hurt. But then again, wasn't the alice academy our enemy? How could I have ever come from there? Who is this Natsume? I shook my head, slowly and so unsure.

"I'll show you some proof then."

He took my locket and opened it. My eyes widened. I hadn't been able to open it. So how come he knows how to open my locket?

Inside was a glowing fire red ruby with the same blaze as his eyes. Spirals swirled and shriveled in the stone. It was an alice stone. I took the locket from his hands.

In it, on the opposite side, there was a picture of me and him. He was kissing me. I was kissing him back. We were smiling, And we looked like we were a couple, like we were truly made for each other, like as if we were really in love.

I fingered the picture. All my feelings towards Ryo felt so fake now. I felt as if I had betrayed him. Who the hell was I?

Then he showed me his book. It was a scrapbook, filled with pictures of me and him, of a blond boy with sapphire eyes and a stoic girl with eyes the colour of amethysts and hair as black as night. The four of us were the main people in the pictures. In some, there would be others. We were all wearing the Alice academy's uniforms, junior and middle.

All of a sudden, everything blacked out.

* * *

did you like it?


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